Rewind to February 20, 2016, when my little girl Patience Grace was born (and boy am I ever thankful for only three hours from first contraction to birth!). The pain was unlike any pain I’ve endured in my life: excruciating, exhausting and tiresome. Mommyhood began in the wee hours of the morning. I credit my quick birth to countless nights watching Youtube “home birth” videos and listening to my gal Ava Curtola’s soothing meditations for mamas.
My big focus these days is on a powerful women’s conference called The Awakened Woman we’re hosting in Bali this November, along with our #WeTalks events. Being a new mom is not an easy job, especially when running a few businesses. I’ve cried more in the last 10 weeks than I have in the last five years. For this I am grateful, because amidst the tears there are profound lessons I’ve learned that I want to share with new moms, especially those who are doing it alone, like myself, and those who run their own businesses.
Here are seven ways you can embrace the best of both roles.
- Meditation is key. Without this, I’m sure I wouldn’t have had a quick birth nor would I be able to keep my mind from racing all the time. It allows me to become quiet and focus on those desires I want to create.
- Have patience. Babies remind us to live in the moment; be here in the now. All we have is the present, so instead of trying to rush the baby to feed or get frustrated, be still and calm. Exercise patience always. When your energy is frazzled and scattered, the baby picks up on this and will only feed into that feeling for you and generally make things harder for you. Be mindful of the moment.
- Have a sense of humour. Laugh at the baby when she is fighting to fall asleep and making those ungodly sounds and faces. The funniest thing I’ve witnessed from my baby so far was as I was breastfeeding and she wasn’t latching on. I peeked under the cover and find that my nipple is squirting milk all over the place. It got in her hair, on her eyelashes and all over her face. These are the moments you cherish when spending time with your little one.
- Master the Art of Receiving. All my life, I have been great at giving others support, advice and encouragement, and now more than ever is the time for me to practice the art of receiving. First, you must ask for the help. Don’t feel guilty or ashamed asking for help. Trust me, it is not a sign of weakness. If you do not learn to ask for help in the beginning, you will have a breakdown like I did in the third week. In order for a mom to keep her sanity, especially doing it alone, it requires help and support from your community, so ask for it with joy and sit back to receive.
- Slow things down for the first month. I know I did. What’s crazy and cool at the same time, though, is that my baby has completed three live events and taken a 400 km road trip since she was born. This is what’s possible.
- Relax and get to know your baby. You’ll be glad you did. Get her on a schedule because when she is sleeping, this is when you can power out those emails and make those phone calls. Again, this may be an area that you ask for help.
- Don’t stop living your life. Remember that this baby is a beautiful addition to what you are already doing. Refrain from staying home and inside, not socializing. I find women who do this tend to lose their zest for life and oftentimes, I hear they lose who they are because they are not doing things that bring them joy and happiness. Take time away from your baby. This is crucial to your success and your sanity. You must remove yourself and take breaks away from your baby and not feel guilty. If you don’t do this and you are with baby 24/7, you are setting yourself up for a breakdown. If I can offer any advice about your business prior to having the baby, set yourself up for success. Hire a virtual assistant or someone who can handle your admin tasks, which will help you immensely.
One thing is certain: I definitely have a new appreciation for moms.
Melissa Mackey is the founder of Ignite Me Now, a personal growth initiative. Mackey is an award-winning motivational speaker, coach and serial entrepreneur. After a devastating break-up, she knew something had to change in her life. She realized her entire life was a show and the desire for other’s approval and acceptance had to end in order for her to experience true happiness. This is when she began sharing her story and diving deep into personal development. She now runs events, masterminds, and retreats, when she is not coaching to help people tap into their potential and ignite their happiness. She is committed to making a difference in thousands of lives to inspire them to be the best versions of themselves.
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